The Lesson

Yesterday was rough.  I have to admit, it was worse than rough.  It was a disaster. Or was it?

The day started out like many others with the kids waking early and me and my husband just wishing for a few more minutes of sleep.  But we all got up, had breakfast and then I sat down to begin to prepare for our lessons.

The warning signs were there.  The table where we work was a mess.  The kids were all bouncing off the walls.  No one could focus.  Not my daughter, not me.  But I missed them.  I thought, "It is time for school, we have to start now."

Everything we tried to begin was met with moans and groans of "I don't want to!" or "When do we get to do math?"  Eventually I thought, if math is going to help bring us into focus, then let's move to math.  However, even math was an unusual struggle.  Inside I started yelling in my brain "I AM DONE! NO SCHOOL TODAY!"  Or at least I thought I said it in my head.  My daughter looked at me and said, "I think you are right mommy.  No school today." Off she ran to play with her sisters.

I sat at the table for a moment and thought, "What just happened?"

Insert giant sigh of defeat here.

Instead of doing what I am used to doing (self judgment, self criticism) I instantly heard in my head the voice of another homeschooling mom.  Some days, it just won't work.  Don't fight.  Give in.  Tomorrow is another day.

We did just that. 

I got on the floor and played with all my kids and my friend's daughter who came to visit.  We had snacks, made messes.  Every now and then I would throw out multiplication problems at my daughter.  Or I would ask her to spell one of her spelling words if it came up in conversation.  We talked about sharing.  We talked about Veteran's Day.  My two oldest went on a school field trip in the afternoon and when they came back we read stories.  My daughter played on the iPad some of her favorite games - Sudoku, word scrambles, math quizzes.

Last night, after successfully getting everyone to sleep, I was finally alone and reflected back on the day.  Where did I go wrong?  The judgments started creeping in.  What if I had prepared the table the night before?  What if I did some sort of centering activity to start the day?  What if I had insisted my husband remove the other kids from the learning space?  What if, what if, WHAT IF?

"STOP THE WHAT IFS!" I screamed at myself (luckily this time it really was in my head).

Did we sit down and work through workbooks and readings and journaling?  No.  Did we "do school"?  I would argue we absolutely did.  Did my daughter learn?  I would argue all 3 did.  They learned about being flexible, adjusting to the situation.  They learned that sometimes you have to follow the rules, but sometimes it is ok to do something differently.  We did a different kind of learning.  Learning through play, through teamwork, through imagination.  It may not have fit the mold of traditional schooling, but isn't that what this home schooling this is all about?  Meeting the needs of the child where he or she is today.  Not yesterday and not tomorrow, but now.

Speaking of now, we are back at our table.  My daughter is focused and excitedly writing a script for a play. It is a better start by all accounts as there is no whining, no struggling.  But a part of me knows that this could break down at any moment.  If and when it does, I am ready to be flexible, to go with the flow, to not judge.  We are all learning here.  We just have to be wise enough to see the lesson through the chaos.